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Negima: Lost Magic is a Negima RP, where many adventures can unfold, from travelling the magical world, learning ancient magic and simply travelling with your partners. Explore the vast land, learning all that you can, striving to be the best!
 
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 Curse Maker - Acerbus

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Nobody

Nobody

Posts : 3
Join date : 2011-02-22

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PostSubject: Curse Maker - Acerbus   Curse Maker - Acerbus EmptyTue Feb 22, 2011 6:16 am

Account Name: Nobody
______________________________________________________________________


Name: Acerbus Animus
Nickname: Banshee
Age: 15
Gender: Female
Height: 5'8"
Weight: 120 lbs
Group: Amplus Exitium
Reputation: 0
Rank: D
Affiliation: Dark
Blood-type: A
Likes: Small animals, Pain, Darkness
Dislikes: Talkative people, Bright lights, "Heroes"
Fears: Her Parents
Physical Description: A, small, mousy girl with black hair. All of her body is covered in scars that range from physical impact wounds to small, thin knife wounds. Also has a very large bite mark on her shoulder from when she was very young. Her facial features are very delicate, almost to the point where she looks like a doll, and is considered attractive by many people. She is missing her tongue.
Magic Keywords: She touches her middle finger and her ring finger together
Ki or Magic? Magic
Clothing: A brown dress, leggings, shoes, and a pair of gloves. The clothing covers every part of open skin on her body except her face.
Accessories: A small, colorful bracelet on her right wrist that has no purpose than to be a reminder of past events.
Extra: N/A
Picture:
Spoiler:

Personality: Because she was treated badly by her parents as a child she has grown to have a very quiet, introverted personality. Because she doesn't have a tongue, when she chooses to communicate with people it is with hand motions. After all of the death she has seen nothing fazes her and it is difficult to make her face show a reaction to many things. The one thing she is willing to show emotion to is the pet wolf she has had since she was a young girl.

History: Acerbus was born into the prestigious magic line Animus, and as such has strong magical abilities that have been trained by her parents since the day she was born. As her parents were fond of doing experiments on living creatures, Acerbus was treated badly and many times was the subject of such experiments, giving her a touch with a deadly toxin in it. Another result from these experiments was a small wolf pup that had pure black magic pushed into it. Acerbus took the wolf and raised it as a pet, making it a loyal and capable combat partner. At the age of 10 she was admitted into the Dark Guild Amplus Exitium and became the youngest member. After failing her first mission her parents punished her by cutting out her tongue, making it impossible for her to chant incantations. She started controlling her magic with hand motions after that. That same night her mother was murdered while in town. Acerbus took her mother's bracelet then and has been wearing it since then. Acerbus is now the leader of the guild after her father died from a light mage attack.

Class: Witch-A class that specializes in curse magic but as a consequence cannot cast offensive magic.

Weaponry/Equipment:
-A small knife that can be used for cutting up food and stabbing/cutting assailants
-A canteen with a drink that was made by herself
-A small black book for her to remember and recognize members of the guild

Stats – 45
Strength: 4
Accuracy: 10
Endurance: 10
Speed:10
Intelligence: 11

Stat Points Earned: 0|0
Jewels Earned: 500,000

Sources:

Skills & Disciplines:
-Accomplished Painter
-Silent Footsteps
-Silent incantations are second nature

Magic Name: Black Curse
Magic Type: Negative Status
Magic Description: The style is dependent on afflicting curses on the enemy and using them to take advantage of the opponents weakness
TP/KP Earned: 0|0
Techniques: 10/10

Black - (3)
Type: Negative Status
Incantation: Covering the eyes with the hands
Range: 10-15 feet
Effect: Causes the target to have impaired vision. Acts much like fog or cataracts.

Silence - (3)
Type: Negative Status
Incantation: Putting one hand inside the mouth and touching the target with the other
Range: Within physical contact
Effect: Puts a magical block around the targets tongue, rendering it impossible to speak. Expires after 10 seconds. Can be removed through use of spells.

Poison - (2)
Type: Enchantment
Incantation: Grabbing the hilt of the dagger/weapon being enchanted
Range: Immediate
Effect: Siphons some of the poison from Acerbus' skin onto the weapon. Lasts for 5 strikes.

Direct - (2)
Type: Negative Status
Incantation: Builds up magic in the air and points one hand at the target and the other in a different direction
Range: 10-15 feet
Effect: Creates an urge for the target to look in the direction that is being pointed at. This urge does not need to be followed, but is still there. Works better on less intelligent characters/creatures. (AKA Darren is screwed)


Last edited by Nobody on Mon Feb 28, 2011 3:32 am; edited 7 times in total
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Lyon

Lyon

Male Posts : 640
Join date : 2011-02-01
Age : 31
Location : Close to my computer

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PostSubject: Re: Curse Maker - Acerbus   Curse Maker - Acerbus EmptyTue Feb 22, 2011 6:41 am

Quick note; you start with 45 stat points. Not 50.
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B★RS
Admin
B★RS

Female Posts : 647
Join date : 2010-12-22
Age : 28
Location : Admin Panel

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PostSubject: Re: Curse Maker - Acerbus   Curse Maker - Acerbus EmptyTue Feb 22, 2011 7:47 am

Nobody wrote:
Stats – 0
Strength: 4
Accuracy: 10
Endurance: 10
Speed:110
Intelligence: 11
45 Stat points total, not 145, looks like a general error though.

Nobody wrote:
Black - (3)
Type: Negative Status
Incantation: Covering the eyes with the hands
Range: 10-15 feet
Effect: Causes the target to loose vision due to a large black cloud in front of the face

Silence - (3)
Type: Negative Status
Incantation: Grabbing the tongue with one hand and touching the subject with the other
Range: Immediate
Effect: Puts a magical block around the targets tongue, rendering it impossible to speak

Poison - (2)
Type: Enchantment
Incantation: Grabbing the hilt of the dagger/weapon being enchanted
Range: Immediate
Effect: Siphons some of the poison from Acerbus' skin and onto the weapon
Range, duration, definite limits, and you need more causes/contact for curses, like eye-contact, blood, hair, etc.
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B★RS
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B★RS

Female Posts : 647
Join date : 2010-12-22
Age : 28
Location : Admin Panel

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PostSubject: Re: Curse Maker - Acerbus   Curse Maker - Acerbus EmptyTue Feb 22, 2011 8:03 am

Nobody wrote:
Silence - (3)
Type: Negative Status
Incantation: Grabbing the tongue with one hand and making some sort of contact with the target
Range: Within the senses (Sight, Smell, Hearing)
Effect: Puts a magical block around the targets tongue, rendering it impossible to speak. Lasts until removed.

This has no real set-up, you can't just look at someone, go Silence and expect it to be a powerful spell, also, the Rank is low so it couldn't be anyway.. You need a direct range and some quality of spell, like needing something personal of their's or at least a very limited range. Numerical range btw ~
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dorianodet

dorianodet

Male Posts : 1409
Join date : 2010-11-29
Age : 32
Location : France

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PostSubject: Re: Curse Maker - Acerbus   Curse Maker - Acerbus EmptyTue Feb 22, 2011 11:23 am

Your spell as slightly over powered for their rank.

Your curse can be "condition less" but then people might be able to dispel them, and their power won't be more than an average spell of the same level.

Currently, with a rank 3 spell you could at most make someone sight a bit blurry. And it won't last more than three post (we're counting in term of post generally)
Concerning the silence... I'm not totally sure about how to balance it. It's more an all or nothing kind of spell, meaning we can't really reduce it efficiency.

It's for this kind of spell that I would put a "minute" duration, but yours is a LOT too long. Preventing a mage from chanting his incantation is really powerful. Something like 4-5sec should be more than enough right now.
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Jukensong
Baka Blue
Jukensong

Male Posts : 656
Join date : 2011-01-27

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PostSubject: Re: Curse Maker - Acerbus   Curse Maker - Acerbus EmptyTue Feb 22, 2011 1:39 pm

Hehe that's hilarious.

A magic guild cutting out ppl's tongues if they fail? ^^ That's might incompetent of them. I woulda just went with branding or severe torture.
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JKDragon
Baka Green
JKDragon

Female Posts : 1209
Join date : 2010-11-19
Age : 30
Location : Jacksonville FL

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PostSubject: Re: Curse Maker - Acerbus   Curse Maker - Acerbus EmptyTue Feb 22, 2011 7:47 pm

Same thing the other guys are saying and...

@Juken: Let us character mods handle this...
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Kairu-kyun

Kairu-kyun

Male Posts : 1120
Join date : 2010-01-25
Age : 30
Location : Fayetteville, North Carolina, U.S.A.

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PostSubject: Re: Curse Maker - Acerbus   Curse Maker - Acerbus EmptyWed Feb 23, 2011 2:39 am

I like this character. It's really unique~
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B★RS
Admin
B★RS

Female Posts : 647
Join date : 2010-12-22
Age : 28
Location : Admin Panel

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PostSubject: Re: Curse Maker - Acerbus   Curse Maker - Acerbus EmptyWed Feb 23, 2011 3:16 am

Character mods should ban people who put their noses in our job ~



Right now, it seems pretty okay..
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Kairu-kyun

Kairu-kyun

Male Posts : 1120
Join date : 2010-01-25
Age : 30
Location : Fayetteville, North Carolina, U.S.A.

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PostSubject: Re: Curse Maker - Acerbus   Curse Maker - Acerbus EmptyWed Feb 23, 2011 3:17 am

Bye, Juke! *BANHAMMERS*
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dorianodet

dorianodet

Male Posts : 1409
Join date : 2010-11-29
Age : 32
Location : France

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PostSubject: Re: Curse Maker - Acerbus   Curse Maker - Acerbus EmptyWed Feb 23, 2011 6:44 am

I think you should use your 10MP to start :) You will alway be able to redistribute them later.

Your silence is always a lot too long since it would prevent mage from chanting.
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Nobody

Nobody

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Join date : 2011-02-22

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PostSubject: Re: Curse Maker - Acerbus   Curse Maker - Acerbus EmptySat Feb 26, 2011 12:01 am

still waiting....
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dorianodet

dorianodet

Male Posts : 1409
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PostSubject: Re: Curse Maker - Acerbus   Curse Maker - Acerbus EmptySat Feb 26, 2011 12:04 am

Your silence is I think, still a lot to strong for a rank 3 spell. Rank 3 spell should be "useful" nothing more :

https://negimalostmagic.rpg-board.net/t278-spell-and-technique-system


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TheWill
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TheWill

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PostSubject: Re: Curse Maker - Acerbus   Curse Maker - Acerbus EmptySat Feb 26, 2011 12:05 am

Stats - 0

should be...

Stats - 45
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Nobody

Nobody

Posts : 3
Join date : 2011-02-22

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PostSubject: Re: Curse Maker - Acerbus   Curse Maker - Acerbus EmptyTue Mar 01, 2011 1:55 am

10 seconds?
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Alberio

Alberio

Male Posts : 1609
Join date : 2010-08-07
Age : 32
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PostSubject: Re: Curse Maker - Acerbus   Curse Maker - Acerbus EmptyTue Mar 01, 2011 2:21 am

1/2 approval
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B★RS
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B★RS

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Age : 28
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PostSubject: Re: Curse Maker - Acerbus   Curse Maker - Acerbus EmptyTue Mar 01, 2011 3:07 am

2/2 Approval ~
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